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JUST FOR LAUGHS
 

BIBLE JOKES

The following are some jokes you can share with your Christian club on campus.

Q. Who was the best pole-vaulter in the Bible?
A. Jesus. He cleared the temple.
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Q. Who was the greatest doctor in the Bible?
A. Job. He had the most patience.
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Q. Who was the greatest obstetrician* in the Bible?
A. Moses. He delivered all the children of Israel.
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Q. Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
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Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
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Q. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
A. None. It was Noah who took animals on the ark.
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Q. What kind of fruit did Noah take on the ark?
A. Pears (Pairs).
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Q. Which animal on Noah's ark didn't come in pairs?
A. Worms. They came in apples.
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Q. What did Noah say as he was loading the ark?
A. Now I herd everything.
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Q. Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms.
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Q. Why didn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah was sitting on the deck.
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Q. Did Noah have food on the ark?
A. Yes. He took Ham.
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Q. How do we know Abraham was smart?
A. He knew a Lot.
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Q. Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
A. Bildad the Shuhite (shoe-height).
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Q. Which cars were mentioned in the Bible?
A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. And the apostles were all in one Accord.
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Q. What was Boaz like before he got married?
A. Ruthless.
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Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He really brought the house down.
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Q. What happened in the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. Eve stole first, Adam stole second and Cain struck out Abel.
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Q. What was the first thing Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden?
A. They raised a little Cain.
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Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children to explain why they got kicked out?
A. He said, "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
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Q. Why couldn't Cain please God with his offering?
A. He just wasn't Abel.
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Q. Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all Ten Commandments at once.
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Q. Who was the first person to play tennis in the Bible?
A. Joseph. He served in Pharaoh's court.
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Q. Why did Joshua feel like an orphan?
A. He was the son of Nun.
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Q. Who was the greatest babysitter in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
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Q. What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A. The same middle name.
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Q. Where was baseball first mentioned in the Bible?
A. Genesis 1:1. In the big inning ...
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Q. What is the sharpest book in the Bible?
A. Acts.

 
 
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