ABCs
of Getting Good Advice
A-sk away: It's
okay to ask for advice. No one knows it all!
B-e proctive:
Remember, what you do (or don't do) is your responsibility.
It's up to you to take the initiative and to make good
choices. And remember, not making a decision is actually
a choice too.
C-onsider your
options: God brings people into our lives to help. Look
around and consider: Who has God brought into my life
to help me find the answer to this problem?
D-ecide who could
offer the best help: Seek out different people for your
various life issues. There are educational counselors,
financial counselors, family counselors, employment
counselors, legal counselors, and others who are experts
at what they do. Ask around and you can usually find
help for free.
E-liminate extremes.
Here are two: 1) being too independent, or 2) expecting
someone else to be your complete authority. The only
Person we should follow 100% of the time is God.
F-ollow God's
Word. The Bible provides great counsel. Check out the
book of Proverbs. It's a collection of good advice.
Also skim through the last quarter of the Bible to find
more good ideas.
G-ive special
attention to those in authority over you. This includes
parents (if you still live at home), older adults, employers,
and church or group leaders.
H-ope for success.
One of the worst things we can do is let things slide
instead of dealing with them. Put your hope in the fact
that things can get better. Having this mindset will
make all the difference in finding a successful solution.
I-nvite the input
of several counselors for bigger decisions. Proverbs
15:22 says, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but
with many advisers they succeed."
J-udge whether
your issue is a matter of right or wrong. Is it a moral
decision or a personal preference? Always strive for
"right."
K-eep yourself
from asking advice from only those who agree with you.
Listen and weigh other opinions, especially ideas from
others who have faced some of the same life experiences.
L-isten to your
heart. Novelist Erica Jong says, "Advice is what
we ask for when we already know the answer but wish
we didn't." Deep down do you already know the answer?
Go with that.
M-ake sure you
seek help from people who adequately know you and your
situation. In most cases, it's better to give more weight
to the person who's supported you for ten years, in
comparison to someone you met last weekend.
N-ever rush into
a decision you're not comfortable with. Give yourself
time to sift through all the advice and weigh your options.
O-pen your heart
to God. God is the best counselor of all. He speaks
through Scripture and through His Spirit's inner voice.
When it comes to seeking advice, go to God in prayer
first.
P-ay attention.
Does the person offering advice follow it herself? Does
it work?
Q-uestion how
your decision will affect your future. Ask yourself,
"Five years from now, how will I view this decision?
What decision will I be most happy with at that time?"
R-equire mature
advisors. Your kid brother or a crazy friend from high
school might not be the best choices to turn to for
help!
S-eek advice
from someone you'd like to imitate. Baby birds learn
to fly by imitating their mothers. We can choose whom
to imitate—and if choose the right people, we
will soar!
T-rust the advice
of those who strive to follow God. Christians won't
always have all the right answers, but they often seek
God who does.
U-se common sense.
Don't ask for advice when your common sense provides
an adequate answer.
V-isualize the
outcome. What are the pros of someone's answer? What
are the cons?
W-eigh your motives.
What's the deeper issue?
X-pect that not
everyone who gives you advice will agree. Different
people have different opinions. It's up to you to choose
the best one.
Y-ield to "good
enough." You may not find the perfect solution
right away, but work on a solution that's "good
enough" while you continue to search.
Z-zzzzz Zzzzz.
Sleep on it. Your problems always seem bigger and more
overwhelming when you're tired. A good night's sleep
does a world of wonders!
** This article was written by Tricia Goyer (www.mops.org). |
